5/26/2016

117

‘My mother was born on May 12. She was married on her birthday, years later, obviously…and we just buried her on May 12, 2016 on what would have been her one hundredth birthday. She was one special character. When she was a kid, she and her little sister were best friends even though they would, at times, have their moments when they’d be at each other throats. Once, she grabbed her little sister by the braids and slammed her head against the door. Of course, her little sister started screaming and crying and my mother ran to the back of the house. She didn’t feel any remorse but she knew she needed to do something to look sad…so she spit into her hands and rubbed it into her eyes so it would look like she’d been crying really bad. When she came into the house and her mother was ready to yell at her…she saw my mother’s face all red and moist and let her off the hook, even though she didn’t have any real remorse. The moral? If you do something, and you know you’re going to be in trouble for it, just go spit into your hands and rub it into your eyes. Fake a blubber and it might get you off the hook, too.’

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