11/7/2016

Part 2 of 4

‘We find our strength in each other, as husband and wife. We are a really good team. Where one of us struggles, the other has strengths and vice versa so, together, we are able to get the kids’ needs met. We are extremely involved in our church, the LDS church, and we have found a huge amount of support and comfort from people in our ward and outside. We have a lot of friends and family who have been very supportive. Our challenge has been to figure out that each child has to be raised extremely differently from the other. You can’t be one type of parent for all three kids…you have be three different types of parents at all times and in the same moment and that’s really difficult. One child needs one thing and another child needs something else and one rule does not always apply to everybody…so being able to find a balance to manage that has helped…and, of course, we’re always working on figuring that out together. As the kids get older, their needs change. Having a teenager is different from having a little kid, so, as his needs change, having to accommodate those needs is always tricky.

I’m inspired, day to day, by the small victories. When I had cancer, it was extremely difficult for everyone obviously, but, during that time, Darby became an even more amazing dad…not that he wasn’t an amazing dad before, but he really shined and got closer to the kids which was amazing. When we work so hard on something small, like, Jackson didn’t speak for a long time…he was in speech therapy and when he learned to say a few words, that was huge. Ivy struggles with a lot of anger issues and when she’s able to look past those things and love her brothers and can treat them with kindness, that’s a huge deal. Potty training was a huge victory. It seems like a small thing but we had all three of them in diapers for years and so, getting them trained was a huge triumph. Jonah gets attached to his cat and finds peace and comfort in that. He volunteered at an animal shelter because he loves cats so much and we thought that would help him with his anger management issues. He got really attached to this one little kitten who calmed him down and it was like a balm of peace. They’re beautiful together. We just never thought we’d have these kinds of challenges to deal with in our marriage…challenges that most people probably don’t have to worry about.’9

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